We have been married for 24 years. We have 5 kids: Josh, Jacki, Jaycee, Amberly & Elizabeth. We also have 5 grandchildren: Ezequiel, Tatiyana, Anaya, Zemicha & Zariah. Zariah is in heaven watching over us for now. We have 5 tiny Chihuahua's, a cat with a never ending supply of kittens and a never ending line of strays brought home by the little girls. We are doing our best to muddle through on this rollercoaster called life!!
Justin came home last night with a purple Crown Royal pouch and I was thinking, hmmm sounds good, until the pouch started "growling" at me. He had a sugar glider in it. Seems he got it from his boss for Jaycee. It scared the bejesus out of me. Later Jaycee had me hold the pouch while she was changing Trey and the damn thing bit me!! She says it was just the little claws coming through the bag, but it sure felt like teeth. If you haven't seen one they look like a little squirrel with a monkey tail and webbed feet like a bat. This is the Wikipedia definition: "In the wilds of its native habitat, the Sugar Glider is a tree dwelling creature, often living in groups of 15 to 30 (seven adults and their young). It is active by night when it hunts for insects and small vertebrates and feeds on the sweet sap of certain species of eucalyptus, acacia and gum trees. The Sugar Glider is so named for its preference for sweet foods and its ability to glide through the air like a flying squirrel."
So anyway, Jaycee says it is really getting tame after just 2 days and that it curls up on her and sleeps, but everytime she brings it around me it starts with that growly, chirping noise. I think it just hates me, or maybe it knows I am scared of it, who knows?!!
We now officially have a zoo here! We have 7 adults with various issues, a 4 year old that thinks she is a super model, a 6 year old that thinks she is the boss, a new born who is becoming spoiled rotten, 5 Chihuahuas, a bearded dragon, a cat that is neurotic, a mouse that continues to out smart every trap we set and a sugar glider. At least the macaws are at their new house and no longer destroying mine!!
This day last year we were all at Primary Children's Hospital taking turns holding Zariah and telling her how much she meant to all of us. Hoping for a last minute miracle, yet knowing it would not happen. Our sweet baby was going to die from the horrible cancer she had been born with despite the chemo, radiation and many surgeries her little body had been through. She fought so hard and endured more than any 2 month old, or any child should have to. It was so hard to turn off the machines that were keeping her alive, it felt so wrong to make the decision to let her go, yet it was the only thing to do to make her comfortable. She had suffered long enough and there was just nothing more the doctors could do for her and to keep her from being in such horrible pain. It was the hardest day of my life. I felt I had failed somehow in protecting this precious little life. But at 6:40 pm the angels that had been holding Zariah, took her by the hand and led her home to Jesus. God needed to call her home and she is brightening Heaven with her beautiful eyes and smile, no longer in pain and not suffering in her earthly body, waiting for all of us to meet her again.
One year later as we visit her grave and tell her how much we miss her, we also get to tell her about her little brother. I feel she hand picked him for us and he looks so much like her it is amazing. At times he stares at her picture by his crib and smiles and "talks" to her. Other times he coo's and smiles at nothing, staring off into space and we are just sure he is seeing her and she is telling him stories and watching over him and the rest of us.
He is such a blessing and I would never say or think that he is taking her place, but he fills a void that losing her left in our home. He is such a sweet baby and he is loved so much. I never thought my heart would heal, but holding that little boy makes a calming feeling come over me and I feel her in my heart & soul.
So what a difference a year makes. This time last year my heart was breaking and I didn't think I would ever stop crying and not knowing how I could go on. Today I am playing with my grandson, enjoying his smiles, amazed at how fast he is growing and looking forward to him growing up into a handsome little man.
If you would like to read the story of Zariah's life you can go to www.carepages.com and her page name is Zariah111207.
My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his fuc*ing forehead. Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond. Hahahaha, just a joke I got on my email.
So no not really, but he did buy me a new ring for Christmas. What do you think, old one or new one?? I like them both and don't want to hurt his feelings, but I can't decide which one I like better. The new one has 21 diamonds for our 21 years together including the approximately 1/3 k center round diamond. The old one has a 3/4 k marquis diamond with bagettes down the sides in double rows and I really love it. Help me decide which one I should wear.
Amber doesn't want to have babies. She has made this quite clear. But up to now nobody knew why (or probably nobody had asked). She was playing dress up and I told her she looked like a bride. She said she couldn't be a bride because she wasn't going to have any babies. I told her that you can still get married and not have kids. She said "Well I might get married and adopt some". I told her that was fine, but then questioned why, if she wanted to get married and have kids, why she didn't want to have her own babies. She looked at me like I was a complete and utter idiot and asked, "Do you know how they get out of there?" Apparently she had been watching "A Baby Story" with Jacki and got a little too much information for a 6 year old.
Libby was watching TV and she turned to me and said "He is so hot!" I kind of chuckled and asked if she knew what that meant and she said "Yeah, he is like the man of my dreams". (She is only 4) I think she is growing up way to fast!!! (She also has a crush on Jaycee's husband and thinks he is "So Cute!!")
I was pretty upset and a little teary the other day. Libby walked over and gave me a hug. She asked what I was crying for and I told her I was a little upset but everything was OK. She looked up so sincere and asked "Do you need me to spank someone for you?" She is always so sweet and wants to take care of me all the time
My girls say so many funny things, they are a laugh a minute and can always get me to smile, no matter how upset I am with them. Maybe they should be comedians for a living?!?!?!?
Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week. (Thanks to MckMama for giving me a copy and paste so I can link to you~~ still open for anyone else to teach me how to do it without copy and paste)
I did not send a email to the superintendent of the hospital and tell him I felt like a mushroom, kept in the dark and covered in shit, NOPE wasn't me
I did not sleep in until 11:00 on Friday and I didn't keep the girls and dogs in my bed with me so there wouldn't be any messes when I got up.
I did not laugh when Jacki was dealing with Baby Trey's constipation and he finally went....ALL OVER, nope, I wouldn't laugh at that.
I did not drive to work at 6:30 am with ice on my windshield because it was to freaking cold to get out and scrape it off. No, that would be dangerous.
I didn't cut in front of another family at parent teacher conference when they stepped away to look at pictures on the wall in the hallway. Nope, that would be extremely rude!
I did not "fire" a close friend for being what I felt was dishonest. And I did not go off and call her some names I shouldn't ever say because I don't talk like that.
Is wearing panties out? They must be, if the wave of celebrities caught with the lady bits on display are any indication. Britney Spears was caught by photographers three times in a week, wearing miniskirts or minidresses, with no underwear. Lindsey Lohan's crotch has been seen so many times that it has its own nickname - "Firecrotch". Oh, and let's not forget the pioneer of this trend, Paris Hilton. Everyone has seen her "Mommy Parts".
I won't link you to the pics, because they are nightmare inducing, but I'm sure you could find them if you Google "Britney's bare vagina" or something similar. When did this become acceptable? I can sort of understand if one night Britney was feeling frisky and decided to abstain from underwear. Ok, fine. I guess it is plausible that she accidentally flashed her va-jay-jay to the entire world. But the next day, when the pictures were published, wouldn't you be horrified? Wouldn't you make sure your bits and pieces were covered the next time you went out? At the very least, if you wanted to continue going commando, wouldn't you put on pants or KEEP YOUR LEGS TOGETHER?!
Not Mrs. (Miss?) Spears. Apparently she got rid of her underwear drawer when she got rid of K-Fed. Maybe K-Fed stole all her underwear and is going to sell them on E-Bay to keep himself in the style to which he has become accustomed (thanks to Britney's money). Britney, Britney, Britney. I won't even talk about your questionable extensions that you appear to have purchased from your local dollar store. I'll refrain from asking where your children are when you are out partying every night. I'll even ignore the fact that you are BFFs with Paris Hilton, Queen of No Talent. But I can't ignore your vagina. It's right there in my face. Honey, no one wants to see your c-section scar. Cover that mess up. I'm worried someone might catch those STD's that Kevin probably gave you.
Let's review the merits of panties: 1. First and foremost, they cover our va-jay-jays. It's still taboo (to most people with sense) to show those off in public.
2. They can be sexy, cute, slimming, smoothing, sporty (insert an adjective here).
3. Boys seem to like them (exception: granny panties).
4. They keep your privates private.
5. They let you sit on a chair without leaving snail tracks.
6. Again, most importantly, they cover your private parts. This is the most important lesson to take with you from this blog. Save my brain cells that die everytime I have to see something like this and cover your lady parts! **Props to My Chihuahua Bites for this rant, plus our thoughts** While I am still trying to get this linking thing right, I have learned how to copy and paste a URL so here is the link for My Chihuahua Bites, where this came from. http://andrearhouse.blogspot.com/2008/03/ladies-are-you-wearing-your-underpants.html I wonder if any of the pantyless ladies would dare to venture answering the call?
I have a big mouth about a lot of things and usually say things that get me in trouble before I think about what I said. But I never offer beauty advice, marriage counseling, political views, religion comments, parenting tips or driving suggestions ? I don’t offer beauty advise because I’m doing good if I get my hair combed in the morning and get to work on time. It helps that I own two pair of pants that fit and I wear one of 3 pair of gym shoes every day. Then all I have to do is pick out one of several t-shirts to wear and I’m off and running. Some mornings I am so tired I just grab whatever is closest and hopefully get it on right side out. I don’t offer marriage counseling advice because I know nothing about that either. I just happened to find an amazing man who puts up with my crap and treats me like a princess. I don’t talk about political views either. I don't understand politics and will never pretend to. I know there is a vote and I know the government runs, I have no idea how. I don't talk about religion because that is between me & God and I don't care what other people think about it. I drive like I am in a NASCAR race and really shouldn't give any advise on that. Another thing I never give advice about? Fashion and style.
YEP!!! I let my girls dress how they want, they are a bit eccentric and love to dress in their own "style". And yes we do get strange looks at the store when the 4 year old has a dressy dress and snow boots, but who cares, they are happy and loving life.
Sleep does not come easy to me most nights. I never stay asleep all night and usually takes a good 2 hours before I fall asleep. Yet being tired as all hell, there is one thing that can rip me out of my Ambien induced coma. Zoe Gas. Yes, Zoe gas that can make me wish I was unconscious.
Be very aware. You can be jolted awake experience watery eyes, and have this overwhelming urge to vomit and/or plug it up.
It happens. In my house. Times and days could be any, but it is always just as bad.
The first time, my husband was the one who woke me up to tell me he thought one of the girls had been sick. A whole can of air freshener was used.
Ok maybe it was a half a can, but it was the good kind that usually takes 1 spray.
It takes me 2 hours to finally doze off in a peaceful sleep. I was content. I think I may have begun to dream and drool again and then she almost always does it again.
And this is coming from a small little Yippie dog that sleeps on the bed. Oh yes, she is a 5 pound chihuahua that can smell up a house in seconds like a HUGE kennel full of canines). And she looks at me with sad eyes, as if to say . . . What?????? I didn’t do anything!!! And then had the audacity to growl at me when she got moved, the nerve!!
The smaller the dog the . . . . well lets just say that dynamite comes in small packages.
Think long and hard before you let your precious dog sleep in the same room with you. It can be dangerous to your health and they seem to have a bad habit of taking over your bed, leaving you a small corner and growling at you if you dare move and interrupt their sleep!!!!
A San Diego woman who is auctioning off her virginity said she has now received a bid of $3.7 million, according to a published report. Natalie Dylan, a 22-year-old San Diego woman, said she got the idea for the auction after her sister was able to pay for her college education after prostituting herself for three weeks, according to the London Telegraph. Dylan has a degree in women's studies. She told the paper she hopes to pay for an advanced degree in family and marriage therapy with the proceeds from the auction. She told the Telegraph that she doesn't think she's the only one who will be benefit from the auction. "I think me and the person I do it with will both profit greatly from the deal," Dylan told the paper.
I saw this story today and could not believe it. Who in their right freaking mind would do this, and even worse, who would advertise it to the world? And she sure seems to have a good opinion of herself!!
OK so I missed a day. I decided quality is better than quantity so I may not get 30 posts in for 45 days, but they will be more fun to read (I hope)!
The "Not Me Monday" has been around a while on several blogs and I was invited to join it. So on Mondays I will be blogging about things I would NEVER do in a MILLION years, EVER, yeah EVER!!!
So here goes, In the past week...... 1.I DID NOT let a 4 year old get in bed with me because I was too tired to get up and put her back in her own bed. 2. I DID NOT stay up all night watching TV and let Jeff take care of the kids the next morning while I slept. 3. I DID NOT tell a 6 year old she could have a cupcake for breakfast so I could sleep an extra 20 minutes. 4. I DID NOT pretended I didn't hear someone asking me something so I wouldn't have to do it. 5. I DID NOT threatened Jeff with killing off his dog if it barks, bites, poops or gets anywhere near me again. 6. I DID NOT spend money on a video game I could not afford to keep the family peace. 7. I DID NOT tell Jeff to go ahead and take my car to go to his brothers, knowing it was out of gas and he would have to fill it up. 8. I DID NOT act like I enjoyed what was made for dinner, even though it was horrible. 9. I DID NOT speed up to prevent the jackass, who sped around everyone farther back on the road, from getting in where the road construction started. 10.I DID NOT tell my nursing director and another coworker that they needed to get a room because looking at their "touchy, feeling, yuck"!! was making me sick. Happy Monday Everyone!!!!
25-year-old Breeana S. Wilson was arrested in Spokane, Washington for leaving her 3-year-old daughter in an unlocked car while she went shopping in Burlington Coat Factory. When the girl woke up she started honking the horn and two people came to her aid and called police. The temperature was only 46 but still the car was unlocked so anybody could have taken that girl.
31-year-old Jessica Green Pack and her boyfriend, 23-year-old Jackie Edward Nanney, have been charged with child abuse for shooting her three kids with a BB gun. Not even as a from of discipline but for the fun of it.
28-year-old Michael Jason Michelet of Yuba City, California has been sentenced to 12 years for torturing his girlfriend’s then 2-year-old daughter. When the girl was taken to the hospital she had a fractured skull bite marks and bruising. Michelet and his girlfriend, 29-year-old Kimberly Ann Northup, claimed that the girl ‘fell out of bed’. The only way I see that remotely even happening is if the bed was 30 feet up over a pit of vipers. Of course neither police nor doctors believed that story and the pair was arrested.
In Chicago two women and a man were arrested on child endangerment charges after police were called to the house on a domestic disturbance call. Police found two baby boys on the floor of the rat and roach infested house that had no heat or running water. On another call to the house police found a 4-month-old baby girl hidden between a mattress and a wall.
22-year-old Danny Platt of New Orleans has been arrested for the murder of his son, 2-year-old Ja’Shawn Powell. The baby's throat was slit and the body left in a park. In his confession Platt said that he was either going to kill his son or the mother because he had recently been ordered to pay $4000 child support. While being led to jail in handcuffs Pratt said that he was sorry for killing Ja’Shawn and that he was ‘under a lot of pressure’
35-year-old Dimitrios Kriaris of Bellaire, Ohio was arrested last week on child abuse charges. Neighbors called police after seeing his two kids, ages 3 years and 22months, were in the backyard attached to a dog chain that was anchored by a car tire in a shopping cart. The weather last week in Bellaire was in the 30’s. Ok, people who treat their dogs like kids is fine. People who threat their kids like dog isn’t.
Robert Aragon of Idaho was traveling in his truck with two children and an adult on Christmas when his truck got stuck in the snow. His 11-year-old daughter, Sage Aragon, and her 12-year-old brother were confident they could walk the 10 miles to meet their mother halfway from where the truck was and the mother’s house. Rather then telling the kids that’s too far and stay here because you shouldn’t be wandering around in a blizzard and that the truck can provide heat, he let them go on their merry way. Sage Aragon ended up dying from hypothermia. Robert Aragon has been charged with second degree murder.
37-year-old Eugene G. Lane and his 30-year-old bride Stacy Joe Lane of Laurens, Iowa were cited and released for child endangerment. Their 7-year-old son was found walking the streets of Lauren in boots with no socks, jeans with no underwear, a T-shirt and a light winter jacket. Did I mention that it was -8 degrees in Lauren with a wind chill of -39? And oh yeah, he was taken by DHS. Their four other kids remained in the ‘parents’ custody.
34-year-old Jesus Rodriguez of Greensburg, PA was arrested after it was discovered his 3-year-old son had caustic burns on his body. The child got the burns because his idiot father hadn’t changed his diaper in over a month. His 4-year-old daughter also has redness and marks on her body.Of course Rodriguez’s apartment was strewn with garbage, old food, and what the article called ‘waste’. And if you’re wondering where the mother is she’s currently in jail. I’ll be honest here even I know that a diaper needs to be changed more than once a month. Hell, it may even need to be changed more than once a day.
Great Falls, Montana. 22-year-old Jeramey Sheeler left his 4-year-old daughter in the car while he went to see a 13-year-old girl. Since it was Montana the temperature at the time was -14. That’s 14 degrees below zero. That’s -26 Celsius. When the girl woke up two hours later she got out of the car and started knocking on doors looking for the sperm donor. The next door neighbors let her in and called police. The article states that Sheeler was in bed with the 13-year-old but ‘nothing sexual’ was going on.
Ashley Truitt is the 19-year-old girl from Iowa who gave birth to a daughter in a Pompano Beach hotel room in June of 2007. She was there on vacation with her family and hid her pregnancy. Truitt didn’t just dump the baby though. She dropped minutes old Julianne Truitt 7-stories down the hotel trash chute where she died from the fall. The irony here is that Ashley Truitt’s biological mother gave her up for adoption. Rather than doing the same Truitt chose to kill her child. Or maybe in her mind she was just putting something useless out with the trash.
A woman in Houston turned on two gas burners in her house then left leaving her 18-month-old twins home alone. Since you’re reading this here you can guess what happened. While she was out the house caught fire claiming the lives of the twins.
When Nicole Beercroft was 17 she hid her pregnancy from everybody. She secretly gave birth to a baby girl at her mother’s house. Rather than going to a safe haven she plunged a knife into the newborn one hundred-thirty times. Then she threw the baby’s body into a dumpster.
A grandmother, Janice Mowdy and an aunt, Stephanie Bell, actually starved this 4 year old child to death. The child had not eaten in about 2 weeks. Now, there were other children in the home and they had been fed. However, authorities believe that they were not fed regularly as well. But, according to a family member, the grandmother did not like Austin, which may have been the motive for the torture to this child.
An eight-day-old girl was taken to Forrest City Medical Center Monday where she was treated and transferred to Arkansas Children’s Hospital in Little Rock due to the severity of her injuries, police said. Medical personnel told police the child had been sexually assaulted and also suffered a skull fracture. According to police, the child’s father, Reginald Davis, 18, of Forrest City, is charged with rape and second-degree battery.
Jennifer Richards, 25, and her boyfriend, Sean Michael Block, allegedly sent a text message to an FBI informant attempting to sell the child for sex, according to an affidavit unsealed in federal court Thursday."Nice piece 5 years old belongs to my gf and she wants to sell it," read one text message allegedly sent by Block, according to the affidavit. The informant also recorded a phone conversation with Richards where she said she had a "five-year-old daughter she desired to have engage in sexual contact with an adult male," according to the affidavit. The affidavit states the pair wanted an apartment and a used car in exchange for her daughter.
I know that you have all heard Caylee Anthony’s story. The world has watched since the day her grandmother, Cindy Anthony placed the 3 infamous 911 phone calls reporting Caylee missing. We were all holding our breath, waiting for this precious little angel to be brought home safely. As time passed and new evidence surfaced, new lies revealed and the family refused to do anything to search or help aid the Orlando Police in bringing Caylee home. Now we know why because her skeletonized remains were found close to her home, thown out in a garbage bag like yesterdays trash. Her mother sits in jail charged with her murder.
Adam Herrman was only 11 or 12 when he disappeared. The adoptive parents thought he ran away to his biological parents, but apparently did nothing. Did they even bother to check with the biological parents? No, that would require lifting a finger to dial the phone. I know that they are searching the area around where the family lives. I hope that something is able to be found. The parents should be charged with child abuse or child neglect at the very least. There was NO excuse for those pathetic excuse of parents to not report this child missing. Even if they thought he ran away. He was only 11 or 12! C’mon! They obviously did not care if he lived or died (however, they just may know what his fate was and have not said yet, which is my opinion). There is a special place in hell for these people. And I wish them to be sent there quickly
I could go on and on for days on end. People, and I call them that because I am not sure what they really are, keep hurting these kids. Treating them worse than they treat their animals. What could a child EVER do to deserve being beaten, starved, shaken, killed, thrown away?? The answer is NOTHING. I don't care what excuse these jackasses give, doing these things to children has no excuse. Upset, angry, at your wits end with a crying, screaming kid? Not ready to be a responsible parent? Take a minute to think how you would like to be treated and don't treat anyone with less respect than that. Take the child to a neighbor for a minute, call a relative to come give you a break. Call the crisis line in your city and ask for help, DCFS does have programs to help in these situations. Thousands of people would love to adopt a child that you either don't want or can no longer take care of. Any hospital, firestation, police station or church will accept a baby with no questions asked, there is never an excuse for killing a baby. There is never a reason to hurt a child. Please don't become one of these "news" stories, there is more than enough of them and they make me sick to my stomach!!
OK so I am getting a late start today. I spent the day baking cupcakes and cookies with the little girls and they loved it. The cupcakes are not frosted perfectly and it took an hour to clean all the sprinkles up, but gee did they have a blast and everyone loves that they thought to make everyone in the family their own special one all on their own! I've been in a couple stores lately and seen some parents that I was quite ashamed of so I guess my rant for today will be people who don't do things with their kids and kids that act like jackasses because of it. I know it is easy to sit them in front of a TV and ignore them, let the neighbors take care of them, or even worse, let them tend to themselves without supervision BUT, it is so much more fun to get off the couch and do little things with them to make them that special bond with them. I see people in the stores or at the movies, or wherever, that have kids running around, touching everything, screaming, having tantrums and pretty much doing anything to get some attention, even negative attention~~ anything to get mom or dad to notice they are alive. I feel bad for these kids and wonder how bad they are at home if they act like that in public. I don't know if I have just been lucky or what, but my kids all know that if they act up in public we go straight to the car and they do not EVER get what they were wanting. I have had very, very few episodes like that and everyone I can think of was because of the child being so tired and cranky they just couldn't be reasoned with. I have had strangers comment on how well behaved my kids are for years. I just say thank you and go on because I see it as everyday behavior and not anything special. Don't get me wrong, my kids have melt downs and they are far from perfect, but they do know how to act in public and do quite well if I say so myself. To the people who let their kids run around destroying everything in sight, I just have to say....give your kids a little "good" or positive attention all the time and they wont have to act up to get it in public. Kids love to know they are special little people and will act just as you wish if they know they are going to have your attention later and they don't have to act up to get it. And to the "mean" parents out there, please don't yell at, criticize, belittle or strike your kids in public. It is embarrassing for them and for everyone around, when in reality it should be embarrassing to you. You don't look cool, you don't sound like super dad or mom, you just sound plain ignorant. These little people are not your employees to boss around and or your little army to give orders to, they are your children. With minds ready to learn and characters to be molded into the adults you want them to be someday. Treat them with respect and they will give it back. Don't say something mean to them and then turn to the person in the isle next to you and say "excuse me" to get by or smile at the person walking past you. Your children should be treated with at least the same courtesy as strangers.. don't you think?? It takes only a minute to give them a positive comment, a quick smile or a pat on the back and the result is a happy, well behaved, likable child who everyone enjoys being around. Think about it next time you feel like screaming at your kid in public, give them a kind word instead and see how much further you get. Remember~~ Love your children unconditionally, they will decide what nursing home you will live in!!
While multiples like that by itself was unusual, what was fascinating about these children is that in each pair one was light skinned and the other dark skinned ~ each taking physical characteristics from different parents. The story made me think of my sweet Baby Zariah. The most beautiful Haitian Angel in Heaven and a comment that was made about her death. There was a conversation about bi-racial couples between several people including Person “Q” and I said I wouldn’t care if all of my children fell in love and married a person from a different ethnic or racial background. Person Q was shocked. She is of my mother’s generation and still feels races should not ‘mix.’ I asked her why. Her main rationale was that by ‘mixing the races,’ any offspring wouldn’t know what at least half of their family looked like and that Zariah’s death could have been caused by the racial mixture or “make up” of her. I tried to wrap my head around that reasoning of the first part to give her the benefit of the doubt and I think she was saying that if these children grew to favor their ‘other’ side of the family, part of their heritage would be lost? I think, but who the hell knows. BUT THEN…… I realized that she had said that our sweet angel died because her parents are of different races and they could have prevented it by not having her and I lost it!! I pointed out to her that two of her children strongly favored her and one looks very out of place for that family. They are all dark haired, quite tall and thin. one is red haired, light blue to hazel colored eyes, the shortest of his family (even at 6’1”) and while not fat in the least, he is not a “stick boy” (sorry Jordan, I never should have called you that!) I next “politely” (yeah, NOT) pointed out that anyone with half a brain would know that cancer is not caused by “racial mixing” any more than it is caused by chocolate milk. Cancer is a horrible, nasty thing to have to deal with for anyone, especially new parents that have to decide to let their baby go back to Heaven and leave the earthly body that is in so much pain and is suffering so much. NOBODY would ever consider doing something like giving their baby cancer if they could prevent it, even if it meant not being with someone they love. I guarantee it, I can prove it and you can’t tell me any different. I have lived it and I know both parents would have given up anything for that little girl. Even giving their own life if that is what it would take, they love her more than they love life itself!! It shut her up, but not for long. We went back to the way “mixed” kids look. Like all kids should look alike or what??? Wouldn’t that be a boring world to live in!! I think my biracial grandchildren are beautiful, I think my non-biracial (is that a word?) grandchildren are beautiful. The mix of the skin colors, eye colors, hair colors, even personalities are wonderful and I couldn’t think of anything I would rather have than my mixed up little bunch. Finally I gave up and decided I would never win the argument, but I know I was right anyway!!! Now, using the same reasoning, looking at my kids you would think I made them from kits. Have I done irreparable harm to my kids’ psyche by having dominate genes? Should I have search harder for a potential mate with the same physical family traits, the same height, hair and eye coloring, facial structure, blah, blah, blah? Should my children have chosen mates the same way? I say HELL NO!! I have said it before and I will say it again “I love my little united nations”. Does it really matter who your children look like? Is is not more important what their character is, rather than their characteristics? Maybe some people should think about that question and then again, just maybe some people should think before they open their mouth!!
I have taken the challenge to blog daily for the next 30 days and make it things that really matter to me, so here we go (names may be changed to protect the not so innocent and if your are offended easily--stop reading now)
There are some women who are blessed to marry into families that love them and think they are God's gift to this world.
I am not one of those women.
I firmly believe that if I wasn't a part of their family, my in-laws wouldn't want anything to do with me. Oh, they're nice enough, but they are never really friendly. (Yeah you've all heard the story of how Jeff's mom called to tell me what a horrible wench I was for knocking him off his bike and stealing him from her~~ give me a freaking break, it wasn't illegal or anything so give it a rest)
There is one person in particular that especially hates me, and they haven't made any bones about trying to hide that fact from me, or anyone else, in the past. Person X makes me nervous about going over for a visit for birthdays or holidays for fear her family will be there and the tension will be horrible.
Thankfully, most often X just avoids me all night when we do happen to show up in the same place at the same time. When I walk in a room, they would walk out and so forth. X is usually nasty to my husband as well. Lovely family. Their kids have no chance.
So anyway, we always celebrate my husband and his brother’s birthdays together with the in-laws because they are only 5 days apart. We were asked to come to dinner (a least 1 week early instead of last minute like they just remembered we exist like usual) and were told specifically “Big people only” (yeah she said it like that). So we arrange for our “big” kids to watch our “little” girls and off we go.
Just like clock work, 30 minutes late, X’s family walks in~ yes “big” people & “little” people. I looked at Jeff and he saw the fire in my eyes. Now don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with kids being invited, but ALL the kids or none would be better. I must add that another tiny baby was also at the party, but that could not be avoided and did not bother us at all!!!
I have known since day one that my kids would never be treated the same as the “real” grandchildren and we have worked through that (many tears from little girls wondering what they did to make “grandma” not like them as much as ____ name left blank to protect ME), but none the less we worked through it and my big kids now accept it as I always did. My little girls I have decided to keep far away so they never have to feel the hurt like their sister’s did.
So, anyway, back to the story. They walked in with kids in tow and I told Jeff I was leaving. AND FOR ONCE he actually agreed with me. He finally sided with me about our kids not being treated fairly. I couldn't believe it. Now he finally sees it too!!!! YEAH!!! (In reality he always saw it he just tried to rationalize it to keep the peace). The very best present he has ever given me is making me feel like the last 20 years of bitching has finally worked (well that and we got to stay home for once on Christmas morning because we didn’t have to go back over for a repeat performance.) Usually it is “Yeah, thanks for the warm welcome. Glad we could come and partake of the exceptional company” and home we go to celebrate the fact that we will never be judgmental or love any of our grandchildren less or different because they weren’t given birth to by one of our children. We love our little “united nations” more than words can say.
Having Jeff on “my side” now makes the whole situation a little less hostile.
And less hostile is always nice. I’m sure glad I got to pick my husband!! (Thanks to Abby for your influencing writing and giving me the guts to do it!)
Well another year gone by and another one on the horizon. Hopefully this new year will be a lot better for us than the last one was!! Baby "Zeke, Trey, Boo" is still home, although he is fighting pneumonia. Jacki and Max are really good with him and make sure he is suctioned on time and he gets his medicines. They are hoping to go visit Ohio in February to see Max's girls and then maybe Tatiyana and Anaya will get to come and spend the summer with us in Utah. Amber & Libby would love to have them spend the summer, it would be a continual sleep over. The snow is outrageous!! I don't remember this much snow at one time since I was much, much younger!! We can't even keep up with it using the snow blower, although Max & Jeff sure try. I think the neighbors like their toy since it keeps their walks and drive ways clean too. The girls got new coats, snow bibs, boots, gloves and the works for Christmas so we are going to take them out tubing, hopefully this weekend. I think they are going to love it! Libby loves to go out and fall backwards in the now to make an "angel" and she disappears when she falls. When the dogs go out they run toward their "safe" area and all you see it their heads bouncing out of the snow every couple feet. Zoe loves the snow, she will sit out there and eat it until she is a shivering mass and we make her come in. I hope everyone had a good New Years and we wish you all a great coming year!!
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