~~Meet My Husband-- He-Man!~~

I am a complete ass!! Yep I admit it. What? You want to know why? OK, but I hope you all still like me when I am done.

For about a year now my husband has complained about neck and shoulder pain. Never too much or too often. When it first started he got a MRI done and the doctor gave him some pain pills and told him to take some anti-inflammatory meds. Then about 6 months later he got another MRI because it wasn't much better, same advise from the doctor. About 3 weeks ago he really started complaining A LOT!!! In fact he was driving us nuts. I kept telling him that the doctor had said nothing is wrong so he must be doing something to irritate it and to tell the truth I wasn't all that nice about it (READ: He was keeping me up at night and God knows I need me some sleep to function).
So anyway last Sunday night he was so miserable I took him to the ER and they gave him shot of Demerol and told him to see about some physical therapy, which he has already been doing for over 6 months with the first doctor. We also made him an appointment with an Ortho to check out the bones in his back to see if that is what is bothering him. On Thursday he had his appointment. They took x-rays and immediately made him an appointment on Friday with the surgeon (Yea we got into a surgeon without a 3 month wait, can you believe it?? I couldn't).

Friday we went to the surgeon with the MRI films from both times and the x-rays and the surgeon looked at them for about 5 seconds and said he needed surgery ASAP and that he has some injured discs and places in his neck/back. He told him to do NOTHING for the weekend but rest and keep his head/neck supported. So what did he do?? He mowed the lawn, pulled weeds and cooked on the BBQ for hours, real smart huh?!? He did lay down for a little while, but not much.
Now comes Monday and we are at the hospital waiting for his turn in the OR forever and he wanted to just leave because he was sick of waiting. He kept saying that he would be fine and didn't need the surgery. That isn't happening because we need to get him fixed so he can feel better (READ: because I don't want to hear anymore bitching and moaning), so he calms down and they finally come to get him. The doctor comes in to explain everything to me that he will be doing in the surgery and he this is what he had to say: "What we will be doing today is taking out the C5-C6 and the C6-C7 discs, putting in cadaver bone to help fill the space, fuse the bones and use some plates and screws to firm it up".
Why all that you ask?? Because his freaking neck is BROKEN!!!!!
Yes, I said broken. He didn't want us to worry much before getting into surgery so he was quite vague on Friday, but as they were prepping Jeff he told me exactly what the problem was and I honestly don’t think I would have been all that much more surprised if he had walked in and said we were all going to the Love Boat and spending the week high on heroin with strippers dancing on the tables.

Apparently my He-Man husband has been walking around for about a year with a broken neck. He is so damn lucky he didn't do something to injure his spinal cord. And did I mention he is freaking tough!!! I swear I am never going to whine again that my hip hurts (at least until he is healed).

***Update***I am just sitting around now waiting for him to get out, the nurse just came out and said at least another hour and a half, but they started saying another hour about 4 hours ago.
**Update** He is finally out (7:30 pm). Doing well and going to heal well, or so the doctor says. Hopefully he is right!!

Jeff Foxworthy on Utah

FORGET REDNECKS; THIS IS WHAT JEFF FOXWORTHY HAD TO SAY ABOUT UTAHNS!

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September to May, you live in Utah.

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in Utah.

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in Utah.

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed the wrong number, you live in Utah.

If "vacation" means going anywhere south of Salt Lake City for the weekend, you live in Utah.

If you measure distance in hours, you live in Utah.

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you live in Utah.

If you have switched from "heat" to "A/C" and back again in the same day, you live in Utah.

If you install security lights on your house and garage but leave both unlocked, you live in Utah.

If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in Utah.

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you live in Utah.

If the speed limit on the highway is 75 mph -- you're going 80, and everyone is still passing you, you live in Utah.


If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you live in Utah.

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction, you live in Utah.

If you find 10 degrees "a little chilly" you live in Utah.

If you actually understand these jokes and forward them to all your friends, you live in Utah.

Small Talk Six 8/1

The ladies of Momdot are at it again with a new weekly meme called Small Talk Six. Every Saturday a new topic is announced and you respond to each topic with a list of 6 words, 6 phrases, 6 photos, or 6 paragraphs, whatever your heart desires. You can check out the Small Talk Six announcement to see all of the pre-scheduled topics for 2009. Don’t forget to stop by and see this weeks responses at MomDot and link up your own.

This week's topic is 6 things you can do with your body that someone else might find strange

1. I have what my family calls "monkey feet". I can pick things up, write, and pretty much do most things with my toes that I can with my hands. I used to be able to eat holding a fork with my toes, but I am not even close the that flexible any longer.

2. I can touch my nose with my tongue. Not put it up there or anything, but it does touch. I can also tie a cherry stem in a knot completely with my tongue and teeth. I don't think that is weird, but my husband does.

3. It really isn't that special and it isn't like I want to be able to or anything, but I can get a HUGE black and purple bruise by barely bumping my legs or arms. So I guess it would be that I can change colors?!?!?

4. Before I say this one, let me just tell you I know it is gross, but I am having a hard time coming up with these. So anyway, I can grow the hair on my legs 1/4 inch in 2-3 days, yet the hair on my head grows about 1 inch a year. What's up with that????

5. I can put my finger in my eye and touch everywhere without it even bothering me. I have worn contacts for 31 years and I have done it so much to get crap out of my eye that it doesn't even phase me to be poked in the eye.

6. And last, but not least~~ and also pretty lame, but I can roll my tongue and turn it over without using my hands (or toes) and keep it that way without holding it.

So I know these are extremely stupid this week, but I have nothing and no matter how hard I think I am getting nothing either. Sorry and enjoy!!

~~The Wicked Witch of the Gorge~~

I was on another bloggers site today and to enter a contest for a video camera I had to tell her a story of something I wish I would have had on tape. It got me thinking and I decided I would share it with you also. It makes fun of me, but since I have no problem ribbing other people, I guess I should dish on myself once in a while too.

Several years ago we were at Flaming Gorge in Utah camping with most of my family and decided to get a couple of rafts and take a trip down the river.
It was a beautiful sunny day with no bad weather in sight~~ until we got half way down the river. At the half way point there is a little beach and a restroom and the wind had picked up a little so we decided to stop and take a break.
Of course, kids being kids, they all had to run right up to the bathroom so I was left alone on the beach with two rafts. All of a sudden a GIGANTIC burst of wind came down the canyon and picked up one of the rafts. (Now keep in mind I am a chubby, short, and not so athletic person)
I didn't want to lose the raft and have to either cram all of us in one for the remainder of the river trip or swim my ass back to camp, so I dove for it, catching it by wrapping my arms around one side and they BARELY reached around so I had to hold it with everything I had.
BUT, the wind was stronger than I was heavy because it picked up the raft with me attached to it and FLEW me to the other side of the beach. It dropped us both with a thud and for a minute I thought I had broken my back, but then I started laughing and couldn't quit because I was imagining what the whole thing had looked like with me "flying" my raft.
I laughed so hard I started "snorting and cackling" (or so my kids describe it, not so sure I agree with that, but for now I will let it be).
After that they all called me the Wicked Witch of the Gorge for the rest of the trip. They also all swear we could win on America's Funniest Videos if we had gotten it on tape.

So my internet peoples, what is something you have done that would be great to have on film for blackmail later???

~~Zariah~~

And the most beautiful angel in Heaven!!

~~Zeke~~

The most perfect little man I know!!

~~Fiesta Days 2009 & Rude People~~

I have always tried to be courteous and use my manners. I was always taught to say “Excuse me” and "Yes Ma'am or Sir" and my Granny would give me a whack if I forgot so it was ingrained into me at an early age. I try to instill those traits in my children by teaching and by my example.

On Wednesday we took the kids to the rodeo in our town for the annual Fiesta Days. That day I encountered several rude people. Was it National Rude Day and no one told me? Gosh, if I had a warning I could have prepared some snappy comebacks or something, but no~ I was at a disadvantage because nobody notified me before I got there.

Kids kicking us in the back and one spilled a soda down my back and not so much as even an "I'm sorry", not even from the mom of said child. The dad did hand us a napkin he had, but other than that it wasn't even recognized that he had done it except for him laughing about it.

One child pushing and bumping into Amber until she almost fell off the bleachers and all she was doing is sitting in her seat watching the rodeo. I turned around to say something to him and his mother or the female(maybe?) he was with, must have been a descendant of a Pit Bull because she actually snarled at me before I said a word. So I let that one go which is so unlike me.

Some grown men(again ?) sitting in front of us could obviously see we had 4 little girls with us and they kept using the most vulgar language and gestures. I am far far far from a prude, but they were completely inappropriate. They kept standing up in front of the girls too and had to be asked many times to sit down or move so we could see. I am not sure but I believe that if the first lady was a Pit Bull mix, these guys were part parrot and part spaz. Now I am not one to judge, but I guess you had to see them (OK, that is a total lie I judge all the time).
Again I let it go except for asking them to sit~ but I shouldn't have!

And last, as we were leaving, going down those steep wooden steps and some little beast kept trying to push us to get down faster. I had hold of the girls hands so they didn't fall far and I threw him some pointed dagger looks. Apparently that didn't mean a thing because not 2 seconds later he ducked under my arm and pushed his way between Amber and I and she did trip down a couple stairs. I got her upright and said "Just let him by before he knocks you down", not rude or even to him and his mother gave me a grunt, a dirty look and said "Be careful Brady, the fat lady will squish you".

Hmmmmm, her mistake! What she didn’t know is just what a shitty bitch I can be if provoked. So I let him squirm around me a little more and then I "accidentally" stepped on his mom's foot, HARD. I told her "Oh sorry, he got me off balance and I didn't want to step on him and hurt him". The look on her face was priceless. Reminded me of the credit card commercials, you know the ones.
Rodeo Tickets: $94
Snacks and Drinks: $52
Look on the mean lady's face after I stomped her foot: Priceless!!

Anyway here is a few pictures of last night. We really did have fun despite the rude people!

~~Sunday Stealing ~~

Today I stole this meme off a blogger known as shopannies who said she ripped it off from Kyddryn from Shadow and Sweetwater who claims she stole it from someone on Facebook. But, it was probably stolen there as well. So, of course, that will be as far as we go. Tracing back our theft's thieves might take some time.
Cheers to all us thieves!

Sunday Stealing: The "Leave It to Meme" Meme

1. Who was your FIRST date and where did you go?

Steve and we went to Lagoon

2. Do you still talk to your FIRST love?

ummmm not even!!

3. What was your FIRST alcoholic drink?

Coke & Crown~~ not much Coke, I didn't know how to mix a drink. I cannot even smell whiskey now without getting sick.

4. What was your FIRST job?

Working in the cherries out in Genola in jr high school

5. What was your FIRST car?

1967 Chevelle... loved the car, but my dad sold it when I got prenant with my son because he was mad at me.

6. Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane?

Home from Arizona after my son was born

7. Who was your FIRST best friend & do you still talk?

My first friend I remember was Darrin who was my neighbor in Kindergarten. No I don't talk to him, haven't since we were about 6 and I have no idea where he even is.

8. Whose wedding did you attend the FIRST time?

The first I remember was my cousin Scott's or my aunt Joyce. They both happened really close together & I don't know which was first.

9. Tell us about your FIRST roommate.

Well...... besides my sisters, my brother or my son I would have to say my Ex and what a mistake that was!!

10. If you had one wish, what would it be (other than more wishes)?

To have more money in the bank than I could count zero's for.

11. What is something you would learn if you had the chance?

To fly!!

12. Did you marry the FIRST person you were in love with?

NO!!! I don't even want to talk to his ass, even if my son does.

13. What were the first lessons you ever took and why?

Dance????? Because my Grandmother took me I think.

14. What is the first thing you do when you get home?

Take off my bra and shoes. Sometimes after a horrible day I don't make it all the way home before that happens.

So steal away and then come and tell me where to look at your Sunday Stealing!!

Small Talk Six 7/25

The ladies of Momdot are at it again with a new weekly meme called Small Talk Six. Every Saturday a new topic is announced and you respond to each topic with a list of 6 words, 6 phrases, 6 photos, or 6 paragraphs, whatever your heart desires. You can check out the Small Talk Six announcement to see all of the pre-scheduled topics for 2009. Don’t forget to stop by and see this weeks responses at MomDot and link up your own.

This weeks topic is 6 talents you wish you possessed.
I wish I only had six, or even had to think hard to answer this one, but it came very easy as I have no talent!!

1. I wish I had some artistic talent. I can't even draw stick figures that look like people. I would also love to have a decorators eye. My house is so freaking boring!! Sometimes I leave the kids clutter around so people notice that instead of my crappy sense of design. I do have family pictures up in one hallway, but beyond that I pretty much suck at anything that has to do with decorating.

2. I would love to be an organized person. I have zero organizational skills. I make the effort and I really try some great ideas to help me~~~ but I suck at it no matter what I do.

3. I wish I could sing. Not even great, just well enough that my kids don't threaten to jump out of the car when I start belting out the tune on the radio.

4. I think that having a strong will power is a talent. I obviously don't have any will power and wish I did on so many different levels. Maybe then I could lose weight, exercise regularly, eat right, and stay on some sort of schedule without so much struggling.

5. I would love to be able to back a horse trailer, 4 wheeler trailer or camp trailer into the driveway without hitting something. Every. ~Damn. ~Time!!!!

6. And last, but not least, I would love to learn to play the piano that sits in my livingroom gathering dust. At least I would have an excuse to keep it every time Jeff wants to get rid of it to make room for more of his stupid stuff (read: deer heads, gun safes, etc..).

So, anyone want to come and teach me to decorate my house and organize it??? Didn't think so.

~~ My Beautiful Babies~~

Since I have beautiful children and grandchildren I decided I wanted some cute pictures of them together. We took the girls up to the castle amphitheater on the grounds where I work the other day to take some pictures. One of my daughters over slept and so her kids are not in these, but it still turned out OK. The photographer was awesome and I can't wait to get the disc with all the touched up wonderful pictures. In the meantime, here are some I took while he was working.

They got bored really quick and I had a hard time getting them to cooperate and unfortunately the grass was a little wet so we didn't get the poses we really wanted, but here is some candid ones that shows their cute little personalities. Enjoy!

Then the next day we took them to a nearby pond to feed the ducks and geese. It was really cool how close they let the kids get to them. Some of the ducks even took the bread right out of the kid's hands.

Zeke is like his mommy and most definitely not a morning person so the end one is one I got later in the day because he was having nothing to do with the morning pictures!!