~~Blog Fart Fridays 5/8~~

Jaci over at Ravings of a Mad Housewife came up with a blog farts idea. She describes it as this: Blog Farts – noun. Def: Crappy ideas that are too short to make a real blog post, but when combined, join forces to make one unified, albeit half assed, post. see also: memes, surveys. These are mine for this week.

1. What on earth am I going to do with a pharmacy load of pills left from my mom? I have enough nitroglycerin to blow up a small town and Lord knows what else...... anybody know a good fence? j/k

2. My daughter had surgery on her foot today and they used cadaver bone to rebuild her ankle. I donated to the donor bank all they could use when my mom died on Monday~~how weird would it be if my mom gave the bone for my daughter's foot??

3. We bought an above ground pool for our backyard and it is "suppose" to fill up into a round shape. Why would it be my luck that after 3000 gallons of water, mine is kind of oblong and I have no clue what to do.

4. I realized a couple nights ago that I am now an orphan and even worse than that, I am now the "matriarch" of my family and by God that makes me OLD!!!!

5. I can't think today and I have a ton of reviews to write and giveaways to list so I guess I am just out of gas for today. Hopefully I can think of something fun to do a huge giveaway week and do it all at once...at least it sounds fun to me. Come back and see what I figure out!!!

~~Blog Fart Fridays~~

Jaci(pronounce that Jackie or she will eat your face off... or maybe she said cry a little) over at Ravings of a Mad Housewife came up with a blog farts idea. She describes it as this: Blog Farts – noun. Def: Crappy ideas that are too short to make a real blog post, but when combined, join forces to make one unified, albeit half assed, post. see also: memes, surveys. These are mine for this week.

1. Someone walked into my house yesterday in the middle of the day with my dogs barking and stole my daughter's safe with all her gold coins, cash from her husband's inheritance (way too much money to keep at home in my opinion, but who am I to judge?), all of their prescriptions and a check for a remodel job he had just finished (for another outrageous amount of money). Who has that kind of balls??? Obviously since they left the 2 laptops and the flat screen TV sitting there, they knew what they were after which means they are a "friend" of family member. That goes to a whole new level of ick!! All I can say is I hope the insurance pulls through and Karma is a bitch!!

2. Why is it that no matter how many times I sing my heart out in the car, I still sound like ass or maybe something like a wart hog in pain or heat? I can belt out Kid Rock's All Summer Long like no tomorrow, but if he heard me he would surely dig his ear drums out with a crochet hook.

3. Speaking of Kid Rock, why does everyone think I am a nut job for liking him?? I always go for the "bad boys" and the rugged type, he is 6 years younger than me (our birthdays are one day short of 6 years apart) and happily married, but I would jump right in that 59 drop top blood red Cadillac with him and be off west to be a cowboy with him in a heart beat. Yeah, like it would ever happen, but a girl can dream right??

4. I think there is a higher power that has something against me exercising. My very well stocked exercise room has turned into a storage room since my storage room has turned into a bedroom so that is out. I thought every day all week I would go out and walk around the neighborhood or the high school track since the weather has been in the 60's and 70's all week, yet something came up every night after work and I couldn't go, but today when I have all the time in the world it is rainy and the wind is blowing like a tornado is coming in.

5. Why do all the channels I like to watch show the same shows over and over and over? There is well over 100 episodes each of CSI, Law & Order, First 48, Paranormal and other things I like, but they show the same 10-15 ones over and over until I can repeat them word for word. I have horrible insomnia and they are the only shows I like to watch all night, but I am really getting tired of it. Does anyone have a suggestion of something to watch in the wee hours of morning?

6. And last but not least this week, why will my girls pick every tulip, daffodil and every other "real" flower in my yard, but they leave all the dandelion's? They are so proud when they bring them in to me I can't yell at them, but I just can't get through to them no matter what I try to explain. Oh well, precious moments and all that jazz......

~~Blog Farts~~

Jaci over at Ravings of a Mad Housewife came up with a blog farts idea. She describes it as this: Blog Farts – noun. Def: Crappy ideas that are too short to make a real blog post, but when combined, join forces to make one unified, albeit half assed, post. see also: memes, surveys. These are mine for this week.

1. Why is it that before Thanksgiving is even over the stores have Christmas stuff out and before Christmas is done there is Valentines things on the shelf. I hate that all the holidays have become so commercial.

2. How can people read about the chemicals in illegal drugs, especially meth and then use it? People please, would you eat a rat poison sandwich and then drink Drano for a after dinner cocktail? Why on earth would you ingest or smoke something that eats your face off and makes you look 20 years older than you are?

3. Why is it that when I go out to eat with my daughters at the buffet place, they can march their skinny asses up there a dozen times and nobody gives them a second look, yet myself, being a bigger person (not HUGE, but bigger) gets crusty looks like I am going to eat all the food when I only go up once?

4.I work 4 days a week, 10 hours a day so I have Friday, Saturday and Sunday off. Every week I have the best plans about getting all of the laundry and housework done on Friday so I have 2 days to relax, BUT every week I get on Blogger and promise myself I will read a couple blogs and the next thing I know it is afternoon. Why do I have no self control? Why is everyone so interesting? Does anyone know where I can find a Bloggers Anonymous meeting?

5. And last for this week, does anyone really think I am going to have 11 years of bad luck because I don't forward a bazillion retarded emails every week telling me something bad will happen if I don't send it to 10 people? And will my wishes really not come true if I don't forward it in the next 3 minutes?

Blog Farts

Jaci over at Ravings of a Mad Housewife came up with a blog farts idea. She describes it as this: Blog Farts – noun. Def: Crappy ideas that are too short to make a real blog post, but when combined, join forces to make one unified, albeit half assed, post. see also: memes, surveys. These are mine!!

1. Why would someone be so stupid as to drop Jaci's blog because she used the word dipshit?? I love the word and plan to use it frequently. I also use asshat, shithead, idiot, A-hole, hobag, and several more so get over it!!

2. Why is it that I can save leftovers for weeks and nobody eats them, but the time I throw them out, everyone yells because they wanted to have them?? They can sit in there until they grow legs and knock on the fridge door to be let out and I swear NOBODY will touch them, but the first damn time I throw them out you would think I threw out a bar of gold or kilo of cocaine because EVERYONE wanted them and I am the jerk that threw out perfectly good food!!

3. Why is it that every time some idiot cuts me off, drives soooooo slow and then finally realizes I am there and lets me by, it is a little Chatty Cathy blabbering away on the cell phone?? And better yet, why is it illegal to shoot them after you see the phone in their hand? No I can't say everyone because some people can drive, put on make-up, read a book, feed a baby and talk on the phone and do it all quite well. BUT I always get behind someone who probably can't even chew gum and walk straight judging by the way they are driving.

4. Are there not bigger things to worry about than if Barbie has a tattoo or is pregnant? Is it really a big deal? OMG what if Ken's "package" is bulging a little on the new Ken doll or GI Joe looks like he has wood? I have heard the stupidest things in the world over these dumb dolls. **NEWS FLASH** Do you people who have issues with it realize there is a war in Iraq and we are losing our soldiers everyday? Do you know that gangs are taking over in many places and that the deaths by overdoses of legal drugs is at an all time high? Seriously, prioritize things in your lives! Some people need to get over themselves!

5. Why can I yell until I am blue in the face and my little girls cannot figure out they don't need to use a whole roll of toilet paper? It isn't like they are flushing it, just rolling it off and leaving it on the floor for the dogs to get and tear up. I bought the GIGANTICC package last week and it was GONE in 6 days. I realize that we have 3 bathrooms and 10 people living here, but for hell sakes, must we really just roll it off on the floor for something to do? Maybe I should make them use their piggy bank money to buy some more?? What do you think, would that some kind of child abuse??

Head on over to Jaci's site and check out everyone else's internet flatulence for the week!