~~LOLCATS~~

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~~Motherhood vs Prison~~

This came from Amy Oops except the part I added at the end so go on over and get a good laugh from her today!!

In prison, you get three square meals a day.
At home, you cook three square meals a day and try to get your kids to eat it. You eat their leftovers.

In prison, you get an hour each day in the yard to exercise and mingle.
At home you get to clean the yard up so you can mow it so your kids can spread more toys all over it so that you can go out and clean it again because little Jr. can't sleep without his latest lego creation.

In prison, you get to watch TV, cable even.
At home, you get to listen to your children fight over the remote control and get treated to hours and hours of mindless cartoons thanks to cable.

In prison, you can read whatever you want and attend college for free.
At home, you get to read weekly readers starring Dick, Jane, and Spot and worry about how to send Jr. to college and still be able to eat for the next twenty years.

In prison, all your medical care is free.
At home, you have to pawn your mother's silver and fill out trillions of papers for insurance and hope the doctor will see you before you die.

In prison, if you have visitors, all you do is go to a room, sit, talk and then say good-bye when you are ready or your time is up.
At home, you get to clean for days in advance and then cook and clean up after your guests and hope that they will one day leave.

In prison, you can spend your free time writing letters or just hang out in your own space all day.
At home, you get to clean your space and everyone else's space, too, and what the heck is free time again?

In prison, you get your own personal toilet.
At home, you have to physically hold the bathroom door shut in order to keep from having someone standing over you demanding to know how long till you're done so you can do something for them.

In prison, the prison laundry takes care of all your dirty clothes.
At home, you get to take care of them yourself, plus everybody else's, and get yelled at because somebody's favorite shirt isn't clean.

In prison, they take you everywhere you need to go.
At home, you take everybody else where they need to go.

In prison, the guards transport all your personal effects for you and make sure nothing is missing.
At home, you have to lug around everybody else's stuff in your purse and then wonder who went in it and took your last dollar.

In prison, there are no screaming or whining children or spouses asking you to do something else for them, or screaming at you because you didn't. Doesn’t that make you want to go out and do something illegal

BUT... at home you get grubby little fingers that love to hold your hand, chubby little arms that give you the best hugs, little faces that can smile and light up your life and sticky little faces that give the sweetest kisses. All in all I think I would always choose home no matter how good it would feel to have the vacation of prison for a couple days!!

~~To Mom In Heaven~~

IF ROSES GROW IN HEAVEN,LORD PLEASE PICK A BUNCH FOR ME, PLACE THEM IN MY MOTHER'S ARMS AND TELL HER THEY'RE FROM ME.
TELL HER I LOVE HER AND MISS HER,AND WHEN SHE TURNS TO SMILE, PLACE A KISS UPON HER CHEEK AND HOLD HER FOR AWHILE.
BECAUSE REMEMBERING HER IS EASY,I DO IT EVERY DAY BUT THERE'S AN ACHE WITHIN MY HEART THAT WILL NEVER GO A WAY.
I MISS AND LOVE YOU, MOM XXX...HAPPY MOTHERS DAY TO YOU IN HEAVEN

~~One Year~~

Today it has been one year since my mom died. The year has been long without her. The year has also flown by and it doesn't seem like she has been gone that long. I still find myself thinking of things that are funny or interesting and thinking to myself "I will have to tell mom about that when I get home". It hurts when I remember she wont be here to tell. I miss her. I miss my daddy. I miss my grandbabies. I know they are all together and as much as I miss them and want to be with them, I don't think I am ready to go yet. It has been one hell of a year and one I wouldn't want to do again for anything. This past year has really sucked!! Here's to hoping the next year will have some better times and memories that come with it.

~~The Stuttering Cat~~

Got this in my email today and just had to share.

A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human beings
are the only animals that stutter," she said.
A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered."
The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become,
asked the girl to describe the incident.
"Well," she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the
Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew
it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!"
"That must've been scary," said the teacher.
"It sure was," said the little girl. "My kitty raised her back, went
"Ffffff!, Ffffff!, FfffffF, but before she could say "Fuck!," the
Rottweiler ate her!
The teacher had to leave the room.