Wednesday, February 4, 2009

~~Top Ten Lists~~

I decided I needed a top 10 list of irritations and a top 10 reasons for frustration, just to jump on the bandwagon with everyone else:
1. No hunting season on pedophiles, sexual predators or baby rapers and no firing squads in the court rooms for when a child molester pleads guilty. Why must my tax dollars go to keeping these useless wastes of space alive and living better than I can afford? Give that money to their victims~ they are the ones that deserve help not the animals who preyed upon them!
2. Having to have a mammogram and ultrasound twice a year because I am a happy cancer survivor. Obviously I have already lost all my breasties so what on earth could make you think I want to be reminded of it twice a year by a technician with jokes I have heard a thousand times and really don't make me feel any better about it? There is no joke that can take my mind off the pain caused by a mammogram machine that only has tiny bits of tissue to grab onto.
3. Having to listen to my husband's damn dog who feels the need to whine, howl and bark when he feels he is not getting the attention he needs.
4. People who excuse their children's rudeness and bad behavior with a smile and shoulder shrug or some lame assed comment. Grow up and act like adults maybe they will learn from you.
5. Having the same argument with my little girls about cleaning their room and the ridiculous excuses they make for why they can't figure out if they take a couple minutes every day to pick up it wouldn't get like that.
6. Trying to find clothes styles somewhere between my daughters' itty bitty pieces of material clothing and my mother's polyester prison clothing that actually fit my fat ass and look half way decent.
7. On any given day I am the only one (so I think) on the road that has a clue how to drive and knowing I can't teach these complete idiots anything, except not to tailgate me and then pass me doing 110mph or I will turn my wig wags on and make you think you are getting pulled over (only for a second, but boy is it fun to see people hit the brakes and duck their head down.)Go as fast as you want, but stay off my ass and we will both be happy.
8. People who pull out from the side of the road directly in front of me when there are no cars behind me. I believe NASCAR speeds should be observed everywhere that little children are not i.e., THE FREEWAY!!
9. Celebrities that adopt kids from all over the world and then flaunt it in the faces of perfectly good and caring people who wait for years to get a child. Like they are special or better than "real" people and can love a child more because they have money~~ WRONG!!
10. People that think it is OK to hurt a child. Just because you have one doesn't mean you "own" it and can do whatever you want to it. If you want something to abuse buy a punching bag, it'll be cheaper and the labor getting it to your house is much easier.

1. I am a road rager and if you cut me off in traffic I will curse at you, possibly flip you off, wish the fleas of a thousand camels invade your armpits, etc, etc.
2.I always sneeze in 3's - I hate it and when I have to wait for the 3rd one I feel like I am going to throw up. I have had people tell me dozens of things to do to make that last one come and none of them work.
3.I would rather read than watch TV, yet the TV in my house ALWAYS has to be on and if the girls are home they ALL have to be on.
4. Having the metabolism of a blade of grass and not being able to lose even 10 pounds. I used to be able to eat 25000 calories a day and I was so busy it worked right off, now I look at a french fry and my thighs start to groan.
5.People who don't know how to count in the grocery check out line. Now I am not talking about the little old lady who has 14 things in the 10 item or less line. No I am talking about the mullet wearing dork following the HUGE lady in shorty shorts and a belly shirt (see below) with 5 snot nose kids that are grabbing everything in sight and screaming because they can't have it taking their FULL cart to the 15 items or less line and then making excuses like they need to hurry to get their kids out of the store. What they really need is to not take those little demons into public until they learn to behave and if you insist on bringing them let the people who have only 2-3 things get checked out so we can get away from said children.
6. Continually happy and cheerful people who tell me stupid things like, “Smile it could be worse" Keep it up and I will show you how much worse it could be.
7.Belly shirts. They should never worn by the people who are wearing them. Tight, tan bellies~~ maybe, but bursting out of the waistband ones, not so much, it's gross. And as much as I love tattoo's, if your little circle of whatever it used to be around your belly button now looks like super stretched out flock of something unimaginable, please keep it covered! If you have a hairy back or nasty pits, cover the damn things up. I also don't want to see your thong riding up your back or your butt crack when you bend over to get something. This also goes for "boys" (because no man would do this) who wear their pants around the bottom of their butt cheeks. I don't want to see your boxers, or lack thereof. If you have to do your belt up so tight on your legs that you walk like a penguin, it is time to pull the damn things up. You don't look cool, you are not a gangster, you are, however, going to fall if you ever have to run from a real gangster who may be firing a gun at you~~ think about it, you are a slow moving target who can't defend himself because he is holding onto his pants trying to run away without meeting the pavement with his face.
8.People who feel totally sorry for themselves for all of the awful, terrible, horrible things that have happened in their lives. I’m not trying to say that painful things don't happen in all of our lives, but people who want my sympathy and cash donations for things that have happened are more than likely not going to get them. Get a clue: We’ve all had pain, we’ve all been through SOMETHING and most of us are still paying for it since we have the sense not to ask the world for a hand out. That’s life, live with it or get over it.
9. People who plead poverty and insist on begging everyone they know (or don't know) for help, yet they can go out to dinner 3-4 times a month, go to movies, concerts and amusement parks. I work 45+ hours a week and my husband works more and we can't afford to do those things. I guess we could if we had everyone in the neighborhood supporting us and could spend our money as we wished. Support your own damn kids and live life like the rest of us have to.
10. Celebrities that can push out twins and be in a size 2 in 30 minutes. Can't you at least appear to be human for the sake of the rest of us regular people?

And there it is, lists of stupid-assed things that piss me off. I know, like you give a flying rat's ass......but it made me feel better!! :-)


Anonymous said...

You didn't learn a thing. You have a watchdog on your tail, and you just got busted for plagiarism again.

Our Crazy Life said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Our Crazy Life said...

What do ya know, another ANONYMOUS blogger that is nuts. Please "man up" and tell me exactly where you think I copied this from. The idea of a list~ yes, hence the statement "jumping on the bandwagon" copied~ I hardly think so. If you think that everything that everyone ever writes is never written in someone elses own words and feelings never happens you are nuts. How many books are there about aliens? making money? children's stories? Are you saying that never a word is duplicated in any of them? Millions of people write about the same things all the time i.e., children, travel, friends, pets, work, rants & raves, work, swear words, sick babies, husbands, hospitals, doctors, vacations, in laws, outlaws, money, love, hate .... so many things I could go on for hours. Just because 2 words may be put together or a familiar phrase repeated just by chance someone is quoted in more than one place, it is not plagiarism. Ever heard the phrases "by the seat of your pants" or "freaking out" or possibly "let it snow"? If you use a phrase that is familiar or common do YOU link it back to the person who FIRST said it??? NO because God only knows who said it first. If you can show me ONE place that a person has written about something that NOBODY else has EVER written about then I will kiss your ass. Now go away!