Sunday, January 18, 2009

~~Ladies, where are your underpants?~~

Is wearing panties out?
They must be, if the wave of celebrities caught with the lady bits on display are any indication. Britney Spears was caught by photographers three times in a week, wearing miniskirts or minidresses, with no underwear. Lindsey Lohan's crotch has been seen so many times that it has its own nickname - "Firecrotch". Oh, and let's not forget the pioneer of this trend, Paris Hilton. Everyone has seen her "Mommy Parts".

I won't link you to the pics, because they are nightmare inducing, but I'm sure you could find them if you Google "Britney's bare vagina" or something similar. When did this become acceptable? I can sort of understand if one night Britney was feeling frisky and decided to abstain from underwear. Ok, fine. I guess it is plausible that she accidentally flashed her va-jay-jay to the entire world. But the next day, when the pictures were published, wouldn't you be horrified? Wouldn't you make sure your bits and pieces were covered the next time you went out? At the very least, if you wanted to continue going commando, wouldn't you put on pants or KEEP YOUR LEGS TOGETHER?!

Not Mrs. (Miss?) Spears. Apparently she got rid of her underwear drawer when she got rid of K-Fed. Maybe K-Fed stole all her underwear and is going to sell them on E-Bay to keep himself in the style to which he has become accustomed (thanks to Britney's money). Britney, Britney, Britney. I won't even talk about your questionable extensions that you appear to have purchased from your local dollar store. I'll refrain from asking where your children are when you are out partying every night. I'll even ignore the fact that you are BFFs with Paris Hilton, Queen of No Talent. But I can't ignore your vagina. It's right there in my face. Honey, no one wants to see your c-section scar. Cover that mess up. I'm worried someone might catch those STD's that Kevin probably gave you.

Let's review the merits of panties:
1. First and foremost, they cover our va-jay-jays. It's still taboo (to most people with sense) to show those off in public.

2. They can be sexy, cute, slimming, smoothing, sporty (insert an adjective here).

3. Boys seem to like them (exception: granny panties).

4. They keep your privates private.

5. They let you sit on a chair without leaving snail tracks.

6. Again, most importantly, they cover your private parts. This is the most important lesson to take with you from this blog. Save my brain cells that die everytime I have to see something like this and cover your lady parts!
**Props to My Chihuahua Bites for this rant, plus our thoughts**
While I am still trying to get this linking thing right, I have learned how to copy and paste a URL so here is the link for My Chihuahua Bites, where this came from.
I wonder if any of the pantyless ladies would dare to venture answering the call?

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