Wednesday, January 7, 2009

~Unfortunately you can't pick your family~

I have taken the challenge to blog daily for the next 30 days and make it things that really matter to me, so here we go (names may be changed to protect the not so innocent and if your are offended easily--stop reading now)

There are some women who are blessed to marry into families that love them and think they are God's gift to this world.

I am not one of those women.

I firmly believe that if I wasn't a part of their family, my in-laws wouldn't want anything to do with me. Oh, they're nice enough, but they are never really friendly.
(Yeah you've all heard the story of how Jeff's mom called to tell me what a horrible wench I was for knocking him off his bike and stealing him from her~~ give me a freaking break, it wasn't illegal or anything so give it a rest)

There is one person in particular that especially hates me, and they haven't made any bones about trying to hide that fact from me, or anyone else, in the past. Person X makes me nervous about going over for a visit for birthdays or holidays for fear her family will be there and the tension will be horrible.

Thankfully, most often X just avoids me all night when we do happen to show up in the same place at the same time. When I walk in a room, they would walk out and so forth. X is usually nasty to my husband as well. Lovely family. Their kids have no chance.

So anyway, we always celebrate my husband and his brother’s birthdays together with the in-laws because they are only 5 days apart. We were asked to come to dinner (a least 1 week early instead of last minute like they just remembered we exist like usual) and were told specifically “Big people only” (yeah she said it like that). So we arrange for our “big” kids to watch our “little” girls and off we go.

Just like clock work, 30 minutes late, X’s family walks in~ yes “big” people & “little” people. I looked at Jeff and he saw the fire in my eyes. Now don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with kids being invited, but ALL the kids or none would be better. I must add that another tiny baby was also at the party, but that could not be avoided and did not bother us at all!!!

I have known since day one that my kids would never be treated the same as the “real” grandchildren and we have worked through that (many tears from little girls wondering what they did to make “grandma” not like them as much as ____ name left blank to protect ME), but none the less we worked through it and my big kids now accept it as I always did. My little girls I have decided to keep far away so they never have to feel the hurt like their sister’s did.

So, anyway, back to the story. They walked in with kids in tow and I told Jeff I was leaving. AND FOR ONCE he actually agreed with me. He finally sided with me about our kids not being treated fairly. I couldn't believe it. Now he finally sees it too!!!! YEAH!!! (In reality he always saw it he just tried to rationalize it to keep the peace). The very best present he has ever given me is making me feel like the last 20 years of bitching has finally worked (well that and we got to stay home for once on Christmas morning because we didn’t have to go back over for a repeat performance.) Usually it is “Yeah, thanks for the warm welcome. Glad we could come and partake of the exceptional company” and home we go to celebrate the fact that we will never be judgmental or love any of our grandchildren less or different because they weren’t given birth to by one of our children. We love our little “united nations” more than words can say.

Having Jeff on “my side” now makes the whole situation a little less hostile.

And less hostile is always nice. I’m sure glad I got to pick my husband!!
(Thanks to Abby for your influencing writing and giving me the guts to do it!)


Abby said...

ha! i was going to say "some of these words look familiar!" glad i could help. haha. :o)

The Perry's said...
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