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Friday, April 10, 2009

Blog Farts

Jaci over at Ravings of a Mad Housewife came up with a blog farts idea. She describes it as this: Blog Farts – noun. Def: Crappy ideas that are too short to make a real blog post, but when combined, join forces to make one unified, albeit half assed, post. see also: memes, surveys. These are mine!!

1. Why would someone be so stupid as to drop Jaci's blog because she used the word dipshit?? I love the word and plan to use it frequently. I also use asshat, shithead, idiot, A-hole, hobag, and several more so get over it!!

2. Why is it that I can save leftovers for weeks and nobody eats them, but the time I throw them out, everyone yells because they wanted to have them?? They can sit in there until they grow legs and knock on the fridge door to be let out and I swear NOBODY will touch them, but the first damn time I throw them out you would think I threw out a bar of gold or kilo of cocaine because EVERYONE wanted them and I am the jerk that threw out perfectly good food!!

3. Why is it that every time some idiot cuts me off, drives soooooo slow and then finally realizes I am there and lets me by, it is a little Chatty Cathy blabbering away on the cell phone?? And better yet, why is it illegal to shoot them after you see the phone in their hand? No I can't say everyone because some people can drive, put on make-up, read a book, feed a baby and talk on the phone and do it all quite well. BUT I always get behind someone who probably can't even chew gum and walk straight judging by the way they are driving.

4. Are there not bigger things to worry about than if Barbie has a tattoo or is pregnant? Is it really a big deal? OMG what if Ken's "package" is bulging a little on the new Ken doll or GI Joe looks like he has wood? I have heard the stupidest things in the world over these dumb dolls. **NEWS FLASH** Do you people who have issues with it realize there is a war in Iraq and we are losing our soldiers everyday? Do you know that gangs are taking over in many places and that the deaths by overdoses of legal drugs is at an all time high? Seriously, prioritize things in your lives! Some people need to get over themselves!

5. Why can I yell until I am blue in the face and my little girls cannot figure out they don't need to use a whole roll of toilet paper? It isn't like they are flushing it, just rolling it off and leaving it on the floor for the dogs to get and tear up. I bought the GIGANTICC package last week and it was GONE in 6 days. I realize that we have 3 bathrooms and 10 people living here, but for hell sakes, must we really just roll it off on the floor for something to do? Maybe I should make them use their piggy bank money to buy some more?? What do you think, would that some kind of child abuse??

Head on over to Jaci's site and check out everyone else's internet flatulence for the week!

8 comments:

Jaci said...

Hee! I almost wrote a fart about stupid drivers, too. How about the dipshits (gasp!) who have to tap their breaks to turn on their windshield wipers? DUDE. Seriously? You don't know where they are? You have to hit the breaks and look for it?!?

Christina said...

I love this!

Shannon said...

Asshat is a good word.

We have the same issues with leftovers here at my house, too! What is up with that?!

Heather said...

#2 is an issue here too. If I leabe left overs for my hubby, he doesn't eat them and I have to throw them away. If I eat them myself he ALWAYS ends up telling me "But I wanted that." Well, if I would have left them for him they just would have gotten pitched. Why?!

angie said...

This is the second time I've seen this blog Farts. It's brilliant!

Fresh Mommy said...

Hahaha.. good idea!

Kelly said...

you are hilarious and I think the word asshat rocks!! your views are great. I love your blog.

Lora said...

Love the blog farts!

Visiting you from SITS...have a great day!