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Tuesday, April 28, 2009

~~Dangly Jiggling Bits or God Please Poke My Eyes Out!~~

We went fishing this past weekend and you can not believe how many icky fishy smelling, slimy things we saw, NO I don't mean the trout! I lost count (or just quit to keep from getting ill) at 4 women laying there in all their glory, not caring who saw what.

Good Lord ladies, watch how you are laying out there on the beach and what might be actually creeping out the sides of your barely there swimsuit! I totally understand that you want to lay there in the spring sun and destroy your skin cells or bake yourself into a nice skin cancer, but must you show the world (my girls and husband specifically) all the things your momma blessed you with?

And for God sakes, if you must show the world your nether regions, could you at least trim the shrubbery so my 4 year old doesn't think you have a puppy for her to play with!
I am no prude, in fact sometimes I am a little perverted, but I don't flash my mommy parts to children and families trying to have a nice leisurely afternoon of picnicking and fishing and I would really appreciate if you would try and refrain from it also.

I have an even better idea for you~~Check out the tanning bed in town, no tan lines, you get your tan much faster and I get out of explaining to my babies that "nice" girls wear clothes that cover their vajayjay since I would prefer them grow up and keep 'em covered.

Lately I have also noticed that men are going back to the short shorts of the 80's- just a word guys DON'T!! There is not much worse than sitting on a bleacher, watching a ball game and turning around to see a whole different "ball game". Ewwwww! I would go on with this subject, but two things stop me: 1- It makes me throw up in my mouth a bit and 2- CK at Bad Mommy Moments has a much better take on it. I wanted to repost it here, but couldn't contact her so you will just click here and read it, but be warned- it may make you throw up a little!

7 comments:

Christina said...

LOL! That brings a whole new meaning to my son saying, "Mom... I want a puppy"

I totally agree though. I can't imagine leaving my house dressed the way some see fit to flaunt their goods like it a weekend swap meet.

Kelly said...

Oh you are so right! Makes you wonder if any of these people have a mirror, and if so, do they ever take 5 min out of their busy day to peer into it!

the BLAH BLAH BLAHger said...

Oh gosh, this cracked me up! I saw my first unfortunate "ball game" my freshman year of HS and nearly 20 years later (OMG!!!), I'm still scarred...

PS - stopping in from SITS!

Krystyn said...

Oh, yuck! So glad I wasn't at the beach with you.

I do have a fond memory of a water park and a lady and her "spiders" coming out of her suit.

sarasophia said...

Oh eww.

Finally got around to reading this, and I so know what you mean. It makes me so angry when people completely disregard the presence of children. I am not an outspoken person, but I just the other day spoke up to two young men who were using the F Word very loudly IN THE CHILDRENS section of Barnes and Noble. I was there with my four young ones (who I am sure were too distracted to pay attention) and it just bothered me so much.

There just aren't many people with manners anymore--unfortunately:(

<3 sarasophia

micaela6955/Michele P. said...

now that was a funny post! It seems I have noticed the guy thing too, but here in Maine you see all kinds of Canadians wearing speedos, at EVERY age when they hit the beach-and it is not important if they look nekkid from up front cuz their beer bellies hang over the front of their suit. yuck! My dad was from Canada and wore his speedo proudly, but I would banish him to the bushes to get his tan because god forbid anyone figured out I KNEW him! lol. (and yes, he did get skin cancer years later too!) And women lately of all shapes & sizes not caring what they wear-what is up with that? I am plus sized and wear shorts & a tee when I hit the water. Because I don't care to gross anyone out, but I see others fully exposed and I am like ewwww... thanks for the afternoon chuckle, enjoyed the post!

Painter Mommy said...

You just cracked me up. I HATE short shorts on guys - WHAT ARE THEY THINKING?? LOL

DAWN