We have been married for 24 years. We have 5 kids: Josh, Jacki, Jaycee, Amberly & Elizabeth. We also have 5 grandchildren: Ezequiel, Tatiyana, Anaya, Zemicha & Zariah. Zariah is in heaven watching over us for now. We have 5 tiny Chihuahua's, a cat with a never ending supply of kittens and a never ending line of strays brought home by the little girls. We are doing our best to muddle through on this rollercoaster called life!!
Lately on several of the blogs I read the post has been about going back in your past, knowing what you know now and what you would change. Not that it will really be interesting to anyone but me, but I am going to write the "letter to me" anyway.
In the Kenny Chesney song "Letter to Me" he talks about stopping at stop signs, hugging an aunt and thanking a teacher for helping him. All good and well, but if I had a chance to go back in time, or to warn myself in a letter of what was going to happen somehow, it would go a little like this.
Yo Trina, STOP!!!! Whatever it is your doing just stop and take a look around! You really don't have to do EVERYTHING you think of or that your friends want you to do, slow down, enjoy yourself and take time to have more fun your life. Don't rush to grow up because as much as you want it at 15, you really wish to have that time back at 30 or45 or even after that. Being a kid is great! Continue on being a caring and giving person, but think about what you want once in a while too. People will be happy with whatever you do so don't try so hard.
Spend more time with your kids playing and being silly, they grow up so fast and you are going to regret that you didn't give them more time while you are working for the all mighty dollar. They love you the same if you are at a park having a picnic or if you are spending your rent money at Chuckie Cheese. They just want to be with you having a good time. Love deeply, play hard, give unselfishly, and live for the chaotic times because they will always make you smile in the end.
Spend more time with your family. Your Momma and Daddy are going to die way before you are ready for them to, so never turn down an invitation to spend time with either of them, no matter what they want to do or how busy you think you are. Do your best to never let them down, but know they love you unconditionally even if you do.
Give more of yourself and don't ever feel like you are burdened with requests made by your Grandparents, they also leave you before you are ready to let them go. They may be old and repeat things a lot, but they aren't doing it to annoy you. Answer their questions over and over and know that they are appreciating your patience with them.
Don't question your faith when hard things happen. Know that God has a plan for all of us and even though it isn't fair in your mind that your child or grandchildren return to Heaven before you, accept it and revel in the thoughts that you will see them again. Don't blame God for your pain, love him for making him the person you are through the things that happen in your life.
Be strong, be patient, be loving and most of all, be true to yourself. Sometimes being totally honest with yourself may be so hard, but do it all the time and you will grow to have it be a habit and you will be so much happier.
Don't ever be sorry for something you did if you thought it was right at the time, but be open to other's feelings and apologize when you need to. But also don't be too stubborn or proud to admit when you are wrong. It will make you a better person and you will always be able to look a person in the eye, knowing you are a strong, proud, honest woman who truly cares for those around her.
Live right, always give a little more than you think you can, never turn away someone in need, you never know who God is sending into your path to test you, and it shouldn't matter because you should treat everyone with the up most respect no matter their social or financial status. Stand up for the under dog, for what you believe is right even if it is not the consensus of the majority of the people around you. Make everyone feel special that you come in contact with because they are the same child of God that you are. Don't make anyone the butt of a joke that you can't put yourself into because all hearts can hurt even if they act tough. Love people even when it feels they are not loving you back, just because you know it is the right thing to do!
Have an open mind and heart and don't ever forget that the more you give, the more you will have to give. Love and understanding is never ending so give it like there is no tomorrow because you just never know when there wont be............
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