Friday, June 12, 2009

~~I Wanna Be Danica Patrick~~

I drive my SUV (yeah, I'm one of those environment-killing gas guzzling assholes) like it's a Nascar series race car. I like to to blare the radio as loud as it will go with the bass thumping and sing my heart out. I like to talk on my phone and yell at my kids. In other words I am a crazy hot mess when I get behind the wheel. My Dad raced cars and therefore it's in my blood. That is a true story and someday I might tell you all about it.

HOWEVER, I use my signals, check the mirrors and and can actually talk, chew gum and drive at the same time. I don't claim to be the best driver, but I am conscientious and careful. I don't speed in school zones or in residential neighborhoods, I try to keep a watch out several hundred feet in front of me and watch for the other guy or for kids running out in the street. I stop for people in the cross walks and stop for kids crossing the street even if they are nowhere near a cross walk. I don't speed through construction zones on the freeway (which is never ending in Utah)and endanger the lives of the workers out there. In fact I am usually the one being flipped off as people go around me in those situations because I do follow the traffic laws.

So why is it that other people who say they are such careful drivers seem to do such stupid things? I have seen people hit animals and then just drive off, and just let me say if I had a concealed weapons permit and saw you do that I would shoot you in the foot and drive off to let you suffer. I have seen people have to slam on their brakes and skid several yards to avoid hitting a child because they were messing with their radio or just plain not paying attention. Hell, I have even seen a guy on the freeway doing 65 mph with a flat tire and he didn't have a freaking clue. When I tried to motion to him that he needed to pull over I got the finger.

But who gets pulled over??? Yea you guessed it. Do you know what for?? Come on guess. Take into account that someone had just passed me doing at least 70 in a 55mph construction zone. No guesses? It was a huge infraction........I had a freaking rear signal light out. I didn't change lanes in front of anyone, I didn't cause an accident or even a close call, but apparently he saw me when I was getting on the freeway. Followed me for 15 miles in a construction zone with people speeding by and ignored them all because my light wasn't working and it wasn't even dark.

Saddest part about it??? I knew the thing wasn't working because it has a short and keeps blowing the bulbs and I just haven't gotten around to figuring out why, but that's just how I roll, yep I'm lazy like that.

I wish I was Danica Patrick.... she can speed to her hearts content and she has a pit crew to take care of the minor details!! Well that and she is really hot and I would love to look like that again. ;-)


Christina said...

LOL! You and me both girl!

AmyLynn said...

I am right there with you! :)

Anonymous said...

It REALLY ticks me off when cops/sheriffs/etc waste their time doing pointless things. Meanwhile there is a mess REAL criminal activity they should be tending to! Also, I just love to see cops who put their lights on JUST to go through a traffic light. And I constantly see them speeding! Even when they are not in the right city. (off duty) What an abuse of power.