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Monday, June 1, 2009

~~The Truth, the whole Truth & nothing but the Truth~~



I know you think about it, even had suspicions. You have asked a time or ten. You try and try to catch me. You sneak around at night, hiding in corners and watching so I think maybe you are ready for the truth. So here it is, the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth:

Yes! You heard a wrapper. I am eating candy, possibly chocolate and no you can't have any.

Yes! I get to make all the rules. I’d rather not have to be the "enforcer", but until you can behave on your own you have to live with never getting to do anything you ever want and me always having everything my way.

Yes! You're right, I can't make you follow the rules. But I can make you wish that you had and you can be sure that I will. Go ahead and call DCFS, they already said it was OK. I checked before I signed the adoption papers.

Yes! I do get louder and more irritated when I have to tell you the same thing over and over and over. You don't like my yelling??? Try listening the first time, second time would even be nice too.

Yes! You did hit her on purpose. Everything cannot be an accident, nobody accidentally hits, punches, elbows, pulls hair, pokes in the eye, slaps, kicks, body slams, chokes, suffocates or pinches that many times on accident.
Yes! There are times I like your sister more. But sometimes she is so irritating I can’t stand her either. It all evens out.

Yes! You will eat what we make for dinner. This is not a diner nor am I a short order cook. Go ahead make yourself gag and you will still sit there until we are done.

Yes! I do wish you would hurry and grow up. Then maybe we could have this argument like the rest of this family. Over the phone or behind each other’s backs.

Yes! I can change the rules whenever I want. It comes with the territory. I get to work, pay bills, grocery shop, feed you and then clean up after you. I have earned it!

Yes! I really do have a problem with you leaving all the doors open. I cannot afford to heat or cool the outside, I hate flies and bugs in the house and it ticks me off to tell you every single time.

Yes! I know that "nobody" goes in your room and makes a mess, but I am not your maid and you will be cleaning up after her. Get busy, it wont clean itself and all the crying and begging in the world will not get me to do it for you.

Yes! You’re Right. We do it just to make your life unfair and to pick on you.

Yes! The party does start when you go to bed. Right in the living room, sometimes in the backyard in the pool or hot tub. You’re not invited.

Yes! I am having a cookie. It’s wonderfully delicious. You still can’t have any.

Yes! I promise I am going to stay home. I wont leave or go somewhere without you during the night. There is not any all night parties going on for moms down at the community center, the amusement park is closed and Walmart scares the hell out of me at night. (Have you seen what hangs out at an all night store?)

So go to bed, stay in bed, don't get up and lurk around the house. We will be in the backyard having one hell of a party. No you can't come.

Yes! I am mean like that!

2 comments:

Christina said...

Oooooo... I so love this post. Now can you record it all for me so that I can just hit play and won't even have to speak to the little munchkins right now? :-)

BrnEyedGal said...

Me too!!! LOL
This hits home for me right now as my son just will NOT go to bed!!! What is with a 5yr old being up till 11:00??? Sheeesh!
Just loved this post....and the "yes there is a party going on when you go to bed!" LOVE IT!