~~The Wicked Witch of the Gorge~~

I was on another bloggers site today and to enter a contest for a video camera I had to tell her a story of something I wish I would have had on tape. It got me thinking and I decided I would share it with you also. It makes fun of me, but since I have no problem ribbing other people, I guess I should dish on myself once in a while too.

Several years ago we were at Flaming Gorge in Utah camping with most of my family and decided to get a couple of rafts and take a trip down the river.
It was a beautiful sunny day with no bad weather in sight~~ until we got half way down the river. At the half way point there is a little beach and a restroom and the wind had picked up a little so we decided to stop and take a break.
Of course, kids being kids, they all had to run right up to the bathroom so I was left alone on the beach with two rafts. All of a sudden a GIGANTIC burst of wind came down the canyon and picked up one of the rafts. (Now keep in mind I am a chubby, short, and not so athletic person)
I didn't want to lose the raft and have to either cram all of us in one for the remainder of the river trip or swim my ass back to camp, so I dove for it, catching it by wrapping my arms around one side and they BARELY reached around so I had to hold it with everything I had.
BUT, the wind was stronger than I was heavy because it picked up the raft with me attached to it and FLEW me to the other side of the beach. It dropped us both with a thud and for a minute I thought I had broken my back, but then I started laughing and couldn't quit because I was imagining what the whole thing had looked like with me "flying" my raft.
I laughed so hard I started "snorting and cackling" (or so my kids describe it, not so sure I agree with that, but for now I will let it be).
After that they all called me the Wicked Witch of the Gorge for the rest of the trip. They also all swear we could win on America's Funniest Videos if we had gotten it on tape.

So my internet peoples, what is something you have done that would be great to have on film for blackmail later???

~~Zariah~~

And the most beautiful angel in Heaven!!

~~Zeke~~

The most perfect little man I know!!

~~Fiesta Days 2009 & Rude People~~

I have always tried to be courteous and use my manners. I was always taught to say “Excuse me” and "Yes Ma'am or Sir" and my Granny would give me a whack if I forgot so it was ingrained into me at an early age. I try to instill those traits in my children by teaching and by my example.

On Wednesday we took the kids to the rodeo in our town for the annual Fiesta Days. That day I encountered several rude people. Was it National Rude Day and no one told me? Gosh, if I had a warning I could have prepared some snappy comebacks or something, but no~ I was at a disadvantage because nobody notified me before I got there.

Kids kicking us in the back and one spilled a soda down my back and not so much as even an "I'm sorry", not even from the mom of said child. The dad did hand us a napkin he had, but other than that it wasn't even recognized that he had done it except for him laughing about it.

One child pushing and bumping into Amber until she almost fell off the bleachers and all she was doing is sitting in her seat watching the rodeo. I turned around to say something to him and his mother or the female(maybe?) he was with, must have been a descendant of a Pit Bull because she actually snarled at me before I said a word. So I let that one go which is so unlike me.

Some grown men(again ?) sitting in front of us could obviously see we had 4 little girls with us and they kept using the most vulgar language and gestures. I am far far far from a prude, but they were completely inappropriate. They kept standing up in front of the girls too and had to be asked many times to sit down or move so we could see. I am not sure but I believe that if the first lady was a Pit Bull mix, these guys were part parrot and part spaz. Now I am not one to judge, but I guess you had to see them (OK, that is a total lie I judge all the time).
Again I let it go except for asking them to sit~ but I shouldn't have!

And last, as we were leaving, going down those steep wooden steps and some little beast kept trying to push us to get down faster. I had hold of the girls hands so they didn't fall far and I threw him some pointed dagger looks. Apparently that didn't mean a thing because not 2 seconds later he ducked under my arm and pushed his way between Amber and I and she did trip down a couple stairs. I got her upright and said "Just let him by before he knocks you down", not rude or even to him and his mother gave me a grunt, a dirty look and said "Be careful Brady, the fat lady will squish you".

Hmmmmm, her mistake! What she didn’t know is just what a shitty bitch I can be if provoked. So I let him squirm around me a little more and then I "accidentally" stepped on his mom's foot, HARD. I told her "Oh sorry, he got me off balance and I didn't want to step on him and hurt him". The look on her face was priceless. Reminded me of the credit card commercials, you know the ones.
Rodeo Tickets: $94
Snacks and Drinks: $52
Look on the mean lady's face after I stomped her foot: Priceless!!

Anyway here is a few pictures of last night. We really did have fun despite the rude people!

~~Sunday Stealing ~~

Today I stole this meme off a blogger known as shopannies who said she ripped it off from Kyddryn from Shadow and Sweetwater who claims she stole it from someone on Facebook. But, it was probably stolen there as well. So, of course, that will be as far as we go. Tracing back our theft's thieves might take some time.
Cheers to all us thieves!

Sunday Stealing: The "Leave It to Meme" Meme

1. Who was your FIRST date and where did you go?

Steve and we went to Lagoon

2. Do you still talk to your FIRST love?

ummmm not even!!

3. What was your FIRST alcoholic drink?

Coke & Crown~~ not much Coke, I didn't know how to mix a drink. I cannot even smell whiskey now without getting sick.

4. What was your FIRST job?

Working in the cherries out in Genola in jr high school

5. What was your FIRST car?

1967 Chevelle... loved the car, but my dad sold it when I got prenant with my son because he was mad at me.

6. Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane?

Home from Arizona after my son was born

7. Who was your FIRST best friend & do you still talk?

My first friend I remember was Darrin who was my neighbor in Kindergarten. No I don't talk to him, haven't since we were about 6 and I have no idea where he even is.

8. Whose wedding did you attend the FIRST time?

The first I remember was my cousin Scott's or my aunt Joyce. They both happened really close together & I don't know which was first.

9. Tell us about your FIRST roommate.

Well...... besides my sisters, my brother or my son I would have to say my Ex and what a mistake that was!!

10. If you had one wish, what would it be (other than more wishes)?

To have more money in the bank than I could count zero's for.

11. What is something you would learn if you had the chance?

To fly!!

12. Did you marry the FIRST person you were in love with?

NO!!! I don't even want to talk to his ass, even if my son does.

13. What were the first lessons you ever took and why?

Dance????? Because my Grandmother took me I think.

14. What is the first thing you do when you get home?

Take off my bra and shoes. Sometimes after a horrible day I don't make it all the way home before that happens.

So steal away and then come and tell me where to look at your Sunday Stealing!!

Small Talk Six 7/25

The ladies of Momdot are at it again with a new weekly meme called Small Talk Six. Every Saturday a new topic is announced and you respond to each topic with a list of 6 words, 6 phrases, 6 photos, or 6 paragraphs, whatever your heart desires. You can check out the Small Talk Six announcement to see all of the pre-scheduled topics for 2009. Don’t forget to stop by and see this weeks responses at MomDot and link up your own.

This weeks topic is 6 talents you wish you possessed.
I wish I only had six, or even had to think hard to answer this one, but it came very easy as I have no talent!!

1. I wish I had some artistic talent. I can't even draw stick figures that look like people. I would also love to have a decorators eye. My house is so freaking boring!! Sometimes I leave the kids clutter around so people notice that instead of my crappy sense of design. I do have family pictures up in one hallway, but beyond that I pretty much suck at anything that has to do with decorating.

2. I would love to be an organized person. I have zero organizational skills. I make the effort and I really try some great ideas to help me~~~ but I suck at it no matter what I do.

3. I wish I could sing. Not even great, just well enough that my kids don't threaten to jump out of the car when I start belting out the tune on the radio.

4. I think that having a strong will power is a talent. I obviously don't have any will power and wish I did on so many different levels. Maybe then I could lose weight, exercise regularly, eat right, and stay on some sort of schedule without so much struggling.

5. I would love to be able to back a horse trailer, 4 wheeler trailer or camp trailer into the driveway without hitting something. Every. ~Damn. ~Time!!!!

6. And last, but not least, I would love to learn to play the piano that sits in my livingroom gathering dust. At least I would have an excuse to keep it every time Jeff wants to get rid of it to make room for more of his stupid stuff (read: deer heads, gun safes, etc..).

So, anyone want to come and teach me to decorate my house and organize it??? Didn't think so.

~~ My Beautiful Babies~~

Since I have beautiful children and grandchildren I decided I wanted some cute pictures of them together. We took the girls up to the castle amphitheater on the grounds where I work the other day to take some pictures. One of my daughters over slept and so her kids are not in these, but it still turned out OK. The photographer was awesome and I can't wait to get the disc with all the touched up wonderful pictures. In the meantime, here are some I took while he was working.

They got bored really quick and I had a hard time getting them to cooperate and unfortunately the grass was a little wet so we didn't get the poses we really wanted, but here is some candid ones that shows their cute little personalities. Enjoy!

Then the next day we took them to a nearby pond to feed the ducks and geese. It was really cool how close they let the kids get to them. Some of the ducks even took the bread right out of the kid's hands.

Zeke is like his mommy and most definitely not a morning person so the end one is one I got later in the day because he was having nothing to do with the morning pictures!!

~~My Phone Has Been Taken Over~~

More often than not lately when I am looking for my phone I find it here:

So if you ever get a really strange text message from me~~~ just figure it came from Zeke.
I'm just saying...

~~Butt Dialing Opinion Needed~~

My son in law has a really bad habit of butt dialing me. He swears he locks his keys, but somehow he calls me several times a week without knowing it. And me, being the kind and thoughtful person I am, cannot help but listen to whatever is being said. I have heard about plans I had no business knowing about, things in my daughter's life that I also have no business knowing about and things I wish I wouldn't have heard.

I know~~ I am horrible, but I can't stop myself. It is like a train wreck and I can't turn away (or hang up in this case). I know I should. I would hate it if people listened to my personal conversations that I didn't know about, but I have no control. So I listen and laugh and swear I will never do it again........but I do.

What do you think internet? If he keeps calling me do I have the right to keep listening? What do you do that you know you shouldn't do?

~~I Have a Friend (or I did for a minute)~~

I have a friend. One that is not related to me by blood or marriage. One that is not forced to be my friend because their spouse is my husband's friend. One that is not a mom of one of my kids friends. One that I do not work with so they feel obligated to be my friend. One that is not being my friend just so I will buy something from them or do something for them....... Yep, just a friend.

It has been so long since I had a real life friend to do things with I am not sure how to react. I guess I just quit making time for everyone but my kids and didn't realize that I was friendless and lonely until lately. Well, as lonely as you can be with 11 people and a zoo full of animals that you live with. And no we are not interested in doing a reality show so Discovery Channel people put the camera away and get back in your truck!!

BUT, alas I may have ruined it already.

See Saturday we decided to go to some yard sales and then hit the mall for some new jeans and school clothes for the kids. So I played with the baby for a few minutes and set out to pick her up. All went well, we found some really awesome deals at the yard sales and I actually found some jeans that I like. I even got a ton of school clothes for Amber & Libby.

The morning had gone very well up to then and so we decided to get some lunch and see a movie. Now please realize that up until this point we had either been in the car with the windows down or in open spaces (you will need to know this to get the clear picture of my horror. It also had been less than 2-1/2 hours, but felt like an eternity being away from home without kids)
But I digress.

We decided to check out a new burger place where you can eat outside (thus another open space), but we had to eat quick to make it to the movie on time. Fast forward to about 20 minutes before the movie. We were waiting in line and my new friend asked me if I could smell something weird. I really couldn't so she didn't say anything else...... for about 10 minutes. Then the kids beside us started talking about the horrible smell. They started checking their shoes to see who had "stepped" in it. I looked at mine and realized that I only had some mustard on the bottom of my pants, nothing that would be smelly.

Oh wait, I didn't use mustard, but it looked like mustard.... only a little bit off colored- kind of like baby shit yellow. Why? Because it was baby shit! Baby shit that could not have come out of sweet baby because the stench was like something from the Eternal Bog of Stench!

If you saw some crazy lady in the bathroom at Harry Potter washing her pants in the sink ~~ yep that would have been me!!

Small Talk Six 7/18

The ladies of Momdot are at it again with a new weekly meme called Small Talk Six. Every Saturday a new topic is announced and you respond to each topic with a list of 6 words, 6 phrases, 6 photos, or 6 paragraphs, whatever your heart desires. You can check out the Small Talk Six announcement to see all of the pre-scheduled topics for 2009. Don’t forget to stop by and see this weeks responses at MomDot and link up your own.

Today's topic is 6 flavors or types of ice cream that you love or hate.



1. The very best is Peach Pie by Dryers. It is seasonal and I have to stock up on it every summer. It has peaches and pieces of pie crust in it. YUMMY!!!!!






2. Next I would have to say Green Apple ice cream. It is made by a little fast food place by my house and I have never found it anywhere else, but Lawrdy is it good!!



3. Banana is also great. Nummy Yummy!!







4. Another one made by my house is Cotton Candy and it is also wonderful. It really does taste like cotton candy. A few years ago DQ had a Cotton Candy Blizzard and it is similar to that.



5. My good old stand by is Vanilla. Soft serve in a dish is good, but hand dipped Vanilla Bean on a cone is always a great treat.





6. The ice cream I can't stand is Peppermint. I have tasted 3 or 4 different brands when they are out around the holidays and I have never found one that doesn't make my stomach churn.


Go on over to Momdot and see what everyone else likes or doesn't.

~~Tattle Tails~~

"I'm telling." "She hit me." "Uh uh, she hit me." "But she hit me first." "I did not. She's lying".

Sound familiar?? If not you obviously don't live anywhere near me because that is the sound coming from my house at the top of little lungs about every 3-4 minutes between the hours of 7 am and 9 pm. Sometimes later.

It has come to the point that I feel like I am going bat shit crazy!! I don't know what is wrong with these girls. They used to play so nice with each other, but the last couple weeks there is always someone pulling hair, hitting, kicking, pinching, pushing, slapping, biting, or knocking someone off their chair. I swear the can go from happy go lucky to mad cow in 3.5 seconds.

WTF???????

I do know enough to realize that something is bothering them, but what?? We have all tried giving them extra attention, one on one time, special little treats, even bribes, but no luck.

What makes it even a bit worse is that in those 3-4 minutes between screeching, I keep hearing, "I'm telling gramma/momma". Good Gawd I am sick of it. I went to help a friend unpack from her move last night to get away from them. And since I am the laziest person on the planet that really means something.

Do you think the neighbors would call DCFS if I blew up and screamed at them something to the effect of "I'm telling you, in the name of all that is good and going to keep me sane, if you come in here and tattle one more time I am gonna pull your hair, knock you off your chair, hit, kick, pinch, push, slap, or bite you too?" AAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

I’m torn between wanting to stay at work, driving around aimlessly, going on a long trip alone, and wanting to come home and wish all night I had put a bullet in my forehead instead.
I need help! Anyone want 4 perfectly good, most times loving and beautiful little girls who have a death wish???? Me either........

~~Dynamite!!~~

See me ride out of the sunset
On your colour TV screen
Out for all that I can get
If you know what I mean
Women to the left of me
And women to the right
Ain't got no gun
Ain't got no knife
But don't you start no fight

CHORUS:
'Cause I'm T.N.T. I'm dynamite
T.N.T. and I'll win the fight
T.N.T. I'm a power load
T.N.T. watch me explode
Lyrics to T.N.T by AC/DC

Since I don't know what music you all listen to I thought I would put the lyrics here so you knew how it is suppose to go.

We have a skateboarding game on the Xbox that the girls have recently found they like to play. I guess they have also found that I am a liar and there is sound on video games (damn!!) So anyway they found the AC/DC song on the game and I had my 4 year olds running around singing "A T and a T, it's dynamite, a T and a T I'm outta sight. A T and a T, I have to overload, a T and a T watch it explode"

I tried and tried to tell them they were singing the wrong words, but either they really don't believe me or they just don't care because echoing through my house tonight I was still hearing "A T and a T......."

That's how we roll...... all screwed up, but having the time of our lives.